Wouldn't It Be Nice?
©Linda Allen 1982

Wouldn't it be nice if the next Jesus Christ
Came down, came down as a woman?
What would people say if it happened that way?
Could Mankind be saved by a woman?

Well, a woman is unclean, why, she's downright obscene -
It's up to Man her future to determine
Don't let 'em talk in church, or we'll all be in a lurch
Next thing you know, she'll want to preach a sermon

Chorus

Now, don't the Bible say that a woman's got to pay
for givin' that bad apple to poor Adam?
So we'll knock up all the ladies and they'll have to have the babies
(dress 'em all in pink, keep 'em by the kitchen sink)
Gotta keep 'em home like God would have 'em

Chorus

Now, I've always felt it fittin' that a woman be submittin'
To her husband, for that surely is God's plan
And it's plain unfair to say that the law's laid out that way 'Cause it was written, judged, and sermonized by Man!

Chorus

Now I know you may have seen it, but the Bible didn't mean it
When it said that Male and Female are all one
Why, the next thing on the way would be the ERA
And you'd be standin' by your mother in the john!

Chorus